Some Kind of Slavation

I see myself as an intelligent, sensitive human, with the soul of a clown which forces me to blow it at the most important moments.

I can’t wait! I could burst. 

Foundation’s Cracked : A playlist + blog post about Emily Prentiss and Derek Morgan
 This week’s playlist is all about Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss of Criminal Minds. Even though Emily’s character has left Criminals Minds along with Paget Brewster that hasn’t stopped my shipping Emily and Derek together in my mind. This week launched the season eight premiere of Criminal Minds. Emily at least had a little shout out in the beginning by Derek and Garcia. For this week’s blog post accompanying the playlist I’m going to change things up a bit and post a quote from each specific song which I think relates or reminds me of Emily and Derek. Enjoy. 
Foundation’s Cracked - The Features “Inside your mind’s foundation’s cracked” Don’t Dream It’s Over - Crowded House “ When the world comes in they come, they come to build a wall between us don’t ever let them win” I Found A Reason - Cat Power “ and you’d better run run, run run to me” The Tide That Left and Never Came Back - The Veils “If only you could stay and not leave me behind” and “Cause it’s a small town and it misses you my love” Silver Soul - Beach House “ It is happening again” Never Let You Go - Third Eye Blind “I’ll never let you go” Wicked Game - Widowspeak “This world is always gonna break your heart” Don’t Leave Me This Way - Thelma Houston “You started this fire in my soul” Need - Hana Pestle “ I’m not quite sure if I’m ready to say goodbye to all we were” Nobody Knows - The Tony Rich Project “ And I’m dying inside and nobody knows it but me” Torn to Pieces ( On Roses) - Susanne Sundfor “You won’t sleep there’s a caffeine stain on your midnight soul.” Hands Open - Snow Patrol “I just keep hoping that your heart opens” Maybe Someday - The Cinematics “You go your way, I’ll go my way” Changes Are No Good - The Stills “See me change, changes are no good.” Everything We Had - The Academy Is… “ I’ll be with you wherever you go through the eyes of a fly on the wall.” Empty Apartments - Yellowcard “Does it hurt? When you think about me and how broken my heart is” You Know What I Mean - Cults “Cause I am afraid of the light” Lovers’ Waltz - A.A. Bondy “And a lovers’ waltz will turn until the end” 

Foundation’s Cracked : A playlist + blog post about Emily Prentiss and Derek Morgan

This week’s playlist is all about Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss of Criminal Minds. Even though Emily’s character has left Criminals Minds along with Paget Brewster that hasn’t stopped my shipping Emily and Derek together in my mind. This week launched the season eight premiere of Criminal Minds. Emily at least had a little shout out in the beginning by Derek and Garcia. For this week’s blog post accompanying the playlist I’m going to change things up a bit and post a quote from each specific song which I think relates or reminds me of Emily and Derek. Enjoy. 

Foundation’s Cracked - The Features
“Inside your mind’s foundation’s cracked”

Don’t Dream It’s Over - Crowded House
“ When the world comes in they come, they come to build a wall between us don’t ever let them win”

I Found A Reason - Cat Power
“ and you’d better run run, run run to me”

The Tide That Left and Never Came Back - The Veils
“If only you could stay and not leave me behind” and “Cause it’s a small town and it misses you my love”

Silver Soul - Beach House
“ It is happening again”

Never Let You Go - Third Eye Blind
“I’ll never let you go”

Wicked Game - Widowspeak
“This world is always gonna break your heart”

Don’t Leave Me This Way - Thelma Houston
“You started this fire in my soul”

Need - Hana Pestle
“ I’m not quite sure if I’m ready to say goodbye to all we were”

Nobody Knows - The Tony Rich Project
“ And I’m dying inside and nobody knows it but me”

Torn to Pieces ( On Roses) - Susanne Sundfor
“You won’t sleep there’s a caffeine stain on your midnight soul.”

Hands Open - Snow Patrol
“I just keep hoping that your heart opens”

Maybe Someday - The Cinematics
“You go your way, I’ll go my way”

Changes Are No Good - The Stills
“See me change, changes are no good.”

Everything We Had - The Academy Is…
“ I’ll be with you wherever you go through the eyes of a fly on the wall.”

Empty Apartments - Yellowcard
“Does it hurt? When you think about me and how broken my heart is”

You Know What I Mean - Cults
“Cause I am afraid of the light”

Lovers’ Waltz - A.A. Bondy 
“And a lovers’ waltz will turn until the end” 

If You’re Not the One : 20 Songs about Parker & Hardison (Leverage) 

This playlist is comprised of mostly upbeat, quirky, and happy songs with a few sad or slow songs in-between. When I think of Parker and Hardison I think of fun, excitement, shyness, first love (for Parker), and difficulty. I’ve been shipping Parker and Hardison since season one and I love the way their relationship has been handled for the past five seasons. Their just so adorable especially Parker because of her social problems. I can very much relate to Parker even though I’m not a borderline sociopath/psychopath. A couple of songs are about their early stages of friendship/romance “Crush” and “From Friends to Lovers”. A couple of the songs are about Parker and her troubles in life “Waterfall”, “ Your Fractured Life”, and “ To the Moon and Back”. But the theme song of this playlist and the title is “If You’re Not the One” by Daniel Bedingfield because it signifies how both Parker and Hardison depend on one another. I think they need one another and are each others only one besides the team. Hardison has bought out a side of Parker that no one has before. Enjoy the playlist! 


If You’re Not the One - Daniel Bedingfield
Sometimes I Don’t Mind - The Suicide Machines
Crush - Jennifer Paige
From Friends to Lovers - Plastiscines
The Idea Of Growing Old - The Features
Baby - Warpaint
Your Star - The All-American Rejects
I Found You - Alabama Shakes
God Only Knows - The Beach Boys
Bad Way to Go - Lydia Loveless
Calling All Skeletons - Alkaline Trio
100,000 Fireflies - The Magnetic Fields
My Cherie Amor - Stevie Wonder
Shape of My Heart - Noah and the Whale
Your Fractured Life - Air Traffic
La La - Ashlee Simpson
Waterfall - The Stone Roses
To The Moon And Back - Savage Garden
Million Years - Alexander
United - Pete And The Pirates

youstillloverockandroll:

On January 18, 2011 my family lost my 14-year-old brother, Kameron, to suicide. In an effort to raise awareness and pay tribute to his life, my family has founded Kindness Above Malice or KAM - a foundation with a mission to affirm individual students that have raised the self esteem of another person, thereby preventing the injury that results from bullying. Please take the time to learn about KAM and find out how you can help. Thank you so much for your support!

Please, please reblog this. I have 200+ followers and I know you all have the power to get this spread world wide. We have all been bullied, lets put an end to it. 

"You Are the Bluest Light"

"Chair" Banner 

Clever Love: A Playlist inspired by Blair & Chuck
For my upcoming tumblr-blog/playlist posts I’ve decided to change up the themes. I’m going to do characters, couples, films, books, etc. as the bassets of my posts and playlists. Songs that remind of me “blank” character, movie, book, couple,etc. This specific playlist is inspired by “Chair” or Blair and Chuck/Chuck and Blair from the CW’s Gossip Girl. Even though I don’t watch GG or I haven’t since the first season(thank baby jesus for Youtube, Wikipedia and Tumblr) I’ve always adored Blair and Chuck even more so when their a couple. This couple is adorable, strange, endearing, and insane. The way that Chuck sometimes treats Blair really bothers me. He’s said some vile things to her and has been a complete asshole to her; but to be fair he has been an asshole to pretty much everyone over the course of the series. Yet Chuck’s love for Blair brings out the softer side of his character. He’s better when he’s with Blair, she makes him better. I think Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick do a great job of flushing out Blair and Chuck; I hope those two go on to do some great things after GG ends. The playlist is comprised of 36 songs and it’s on itunes/ping with the same title. I choose Clever Love as the playlist title and theme song so to say because in my opinion I think it encompasses their early beginnings in high school till now. The line I love from that song “you’re all I desire” kind of defines Blair and Chuck for me because they’ve always wanted one another but something’s always gotten in the way. I hope season 6 will end on a high note for both Blair and Chuck and finally give them the happy ending they deserve. Enjoy.  

  • Clever Love - Angels & Airwaves
  • Blue Light (Engineers ‘Anti-Gravity’ Mix) - Bloc Party
  • Lay Lady Lay - Bob Dylan
  • (Always A) Target - Radio 4
  • Dismantle Me - The Distillers
  • Blue & Silver - Lower Dogs
  • Hounds of Love - Kate Bush
  • Piece of My Heart - Janis Joplin
  • Million Dollar Man - Lana Del Rey
  • Chemistry of a Car Crash - Shiny Toy Guns
  • You Have Been Loved - Sia
  • Turn a Light On - Kathryn Calder 
  • I’m Not Sorry - Test York Reflex
  • Make Up Your Mind - Theory of a Deadman
  • Take On Me - A.C. Newman
  • Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order
  • Velvet - The Big Pink
  • Is This Love? - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
  • Teen Age Riot - Sonic Youth
  • Plainsong - The Cure
  • Somedays - Regina Spektor
  • Like Love - Rhett Miller
  • You Really Got A Hold On Me - She & Him
  • Subside - Junkster
  • All You Wanted - Michelle Branch
  • I Think You’re a Contra - Vampire Weekend
  • Before You Walk Out My Life - Monica
  • I For You - The All-American Rejects
  • Lullaby - Rogue Wave
  • Message of Love - The Pretenders
  • Puzzle Pieces - Tiger Trap
  • Always After You (Till You Started After Me) - The Walkmen
  • Dig - Incubus
  • Dedicated to the One I Love - The Mamas and the Papas
  • Faith (When I Let You Down) - Taking Back Sunday 
  • Some People - Goldfrapp 

         I am far too young too love. At 20 and almost 9 months old I have come to the conclusion I’m not ready for romance, love, sex, or anything much dealing with another human being. I am far too selfish, irresponsible, unhealthy, lazy, and antisocial to love. What is love ? Why are so many people tying their knots in a bunch to love. Love is painful and distracting. Love can be anything but pleasant. Love can kill. I guess I’m a debbie downer because I always look on the dark side of things but my view of love is closer to pain than pleasure. My favorite romance films are always the darker films, off beat like Punch Drunk Love, I’m a Cyborg but That’s Okay, etc. over those happy go lucky normal romance films even though I like those too. 

I say all of this because of my lack of romance and my lack of wanting to date, have sex, or have a boyfriend. I’m not even sure if I want to marry one day. Yet I’m far too young to decide any of this now. About a month or two ago a person older than me basically told me I needed to date, have sex, get a boyfriend,etc or I would become depressed; Well buddy it’s a little to late for that…seven years too late. In fact I think dating would be worse for me right now considering my state of mind. In fact I’m just focused on school and my health. Call me selfish if you’d like. I feel like so many people are dating and have relationships for no reason other than to compensate for other things that are missing in their lives. Instead of finding a boyfriend or girlfriend maybe they should instead find a therapist. 

My whole life I’ve been very shy about romance or love. I’ve only had one legit crush and that was seven years. I can find men attractive but other than that…. I am maybe borderline asexual. I was definitely love shy when I was younger. I couldn’t even admit to having a crush to my friends. I’ve always had celebrity crushes though and I would shout them from the roof top. 

This playlist has been on stand still for months and I thought now would be the time to put it into transmission and start up my mixes. This whole playlist is anti-love = down with love. Most of the songs are about how love & relationships are bad, painful, and not being/falling/believing in love. Some of the other songs are about lovers in trouble. The playlist title comes from The Big Pink’s song “Too Young to Love”  where the lead singer constantly sings he’s “too young to love”. Other songs like Bodies by The Smashing Pumpkins urge that “love is suicide” and The Darkness’s Love is Only a Feeling urges that love is a myth. The final track I choose is by Chris Isaak Wicked Games because the final line he croons is “nobody loves no one”. Maybe he’s right. Maybe they all are. 

Too Young to Love - The Big Pink
This Isn’t It - Giant Drag
Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) - Nancy Sinatra
Anything, Anything - Dramarama
Hey, Jealousy - Gin Blossoms
Love Is Only a Feeling - The Darkness
The More You Live, The More You Love - A Flock of Seagulls
Gloomy Sunday - Billie Holiday
My Heart - The  Ettes
True Love Is Not Kind - Jonathan Richman
Ex-Girlfriend - No Doubt
Bad Boyfriend - Garbage
Losing Grip - Avril Lavigne
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
Don’t Fall in Love - Still Corners
I Don’t Need Love - Evidence
Love Hurts - Nazareth
Fruit Machine - The Ting Tings
Teenage Love Song - Rilo Kiley
Lover of Mine - Beach House
40 Days and 40 Nights - The Enemy
Unloveable - The Smiths
Bodies - The Smashing Pumpkins
Wicked Games - Chris Isaak

I love John Nolan

I got to met him and the four other members of Taking Back Sunday on Sunday at Warped Tour. I said to him “I love your band” and he smiled and nodded. They were all very sweet. Their performance was amazing and I would love to see them perform live again.

I have to admit to myself that these days have been pretty bleak! This Summer has been turning out to be horrible because I can’t seem to motivate myself to study or even to do the things I want to do and need to do. I’m failing two of my classes with only three weeks left to raise my grade and I can’t even study or do my homework. I can’t read my library books or paint or film or eat right and exercise to lose weight. Even these Tumblr posts and playlist become tedious. Yet I have hope on my side and hope doesn’t mean much without commitment and motivation. I really need to get on top of my game before it’s too late. I know things are bad right now but I want to tell myself that things will get better but I’ve got to do better because I’m worth it. I’m better than I’ve let myself behave and act in the past few years. I haven’t had a good day in a long time. Even though sometimes I get annoyed by “hope” I guess but sometimes hope is all I have or all anyone has. I usually do dark posts but it’s time for a change. A new frame of mind. Heres to hope!

There Are Maybe Ten Or Twelve - A.C. Newman
(I’m Gonna) Kick You Out - The Caesars
Today’s Your Day - Fatlip
Tear Me Down - Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Let Go - Flesh for Lulu
Paint the Silence - South
These Days Nothing But Sunshine - The Clientele
I’m Into Something Good - Jr. James & The Late Guitar
Hold On - Jonas Brothers
Ramble On - Led Zeppelin
It’s A Beautiful Life - Jukebox the Ghost
Let Go - Frou Frou
Just a Ride - Jem
Alive and Kicking - Simple Minds
Play -Flunk
Lake Michigan - Rogue Wave
Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What A Wonderful World - Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
Beautiful - The Go-Go’s
Hello Sunshine - Super Furry Animals
Non-Believer - La Rocca
Uptight (Everything i Alright) - Stevie Wonder
New Frame of Mind - Kathryn Calder
I Hope Tomorrow Is Like Today - Guster
Everything Will Be Alright - The Killers
Futures - Jimmy Eat World